Nothing much to say...

Well folks so sorry to dissapoint, but I have no news. Same old stuff going in the Rick's household. I had to go the Baton Rouge yesterday for a meeting and I realized how much I missed working up there. It was like being in civilization again. Outside the fence of the sausage farm is nice. i think I just like to dress up in a nice clothes and not look trailer trash as I do to come to my current miserable job. Maybe that is it. I find it comical that in my past my homelife was less than desirable, but I enjoyed my job. Now I have a desirable, happy homelife but I find my job less than desirable. I would elaborate;hwoever, this internet thing is credible and available for others to read. I am very happy now to have a fulfulling homelife and woudn't trade it back for the other way around for anything but still. I always seem to be in a pickle. I think someone should surround me with those lil orange cones cuz it's definitely a disaster area in some form or another when it comes to me. It's ok, don't get worried, it's not depressing or anything, I think it's funny really. It's really kind of sad that I have to have a salary. Oh the things I could do if i didn't have to work. I mean, you know HAVE to work. I would work, this I know to be true. Im not sure I could stay home all the time. that would be way tooo homely. Maybe I would exercise more. I bet I would just get oober fat. Speaking of fat, those Reese's cups and ham are still on my ass. I have no excuse, Im lazy. I swear I need a lil gay man to run behind me and motivate me. They should get an aisle at Walmart for those. I would certainly pick one up. Speaking of which, why the hell are personal trainers so expensive? With all the fat people in the world, you would think if they lowered the fees and went for volume, it would still be lucrative. I mean, you can take an online course or something to become a certified trainer. It's not like they have PhDs or advanced training. I mean, so you are in great shape, you take Olaf's how to be a trainer class and boom you suddenly get 100 bucks an hour. It's like people that cut hair. Im so sure, i go to beauty school and now Im better than you. I always feel like Im going on a job interview when I go to get my hair cut. You know all worried about what I wear, and what are we gonna talk about, then there is the awkward silence. I wonder what makes those people nervous?? oh well, that is bound to be enough ramblings for one day. Til later. Smooches!

Soccer Moms are Biatches...

Or Tennis moms, or stay at moms... Bitches, and Bitches.......

So today was my "Friday Off". Im supposed to be off every other friday, but due to my inability to get myself out the door in the mornings and the fact that I have to drop off and pick up Ava, I usually end up working on the off days and at home to make up time. Well, today I did some work this morning and have calls this afternoon, so I took some time to "sharpen the saw" (That's a Franklin Covey phrase, did I mention Im sort of hooked on that way of life , well not so much the books but the products).

So I took Ava to the babysitter early this morning, I came home and got some work done. I decided to take the dog for a walk, then got home and exercised. I came in from the gym (my shed) and made myself a healthy breakfast of an eggbeater omelet,with cottage cheese and peaches on the side, ice water with a slice of fresh lemon. I settled in my kitchen to eat and catch up with the E channel.

As I sat there I got to thinking, these stay at bitches get to do this everyday. Now I know when the baby is home, your time is not your own. But you get a little while to yourself, i mean my kid can play and entertain herself for an hour at a time, and there are naps. So they have time to workout, clean, and do other necessary things every day. Lucky dogs. I just don't understand when they tell me, "I don't have time, or I can't get anything done".. WTF.. I work 5 days a week and I manage to keep my house clean, taxi the baby back and forth to daycare. I don't work out because Im lazy. I could definitely get out of bed at 430 and head to the treadmill, but I don't. But still, how do they not have time, what the hell do they do all day!

Oh well, I guess it isn't in the cards for me to get stay home all day, but I still get my every other Friday Soccer Mom for a day, day.. So I guess that makes me a Biatch for the day!! But Im used to being a bitch anyway!! TaTa for now!!! Smooches

PS
Has anyone ever gone to TJMAX?!! I went last week for the first time. I love it!! and there mo's there. If you see Mo's shopping, you know you are in the right place..... ok, see ya!!

Once a Week

Hello out there in internet land! So Ive been thinking, what to blog about, when to blog, you get the picture... I have decided to blog once per week. This way I can work on my content. I mean who wants to read boring day to day stuff. Besides I have realized I don't have a life. All my post's are about is my kid and my fatness. I mean I could go on until the end of time about Ava. She really is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It's like a bolt of lightening gave me religion all of a sudden. But Im sure no one wants read that all the time!

So in true Carey Bradshaw fashion, I have decided to make it a weekly occurence. We all know that Im not really a Carey, more like a Charlotte by day and Samantha by night. Ha! who am I kidding. Im a Charlotte without the 5th Ave apartment! I do have a goofy sweet bald husband though. Sorry Baby, you know I love you!! (Let's see if he reads this) I coulda been a Samantha maybe a few years ago, maybe... but Im sure I wasn't that fabulous. (well, I was pretty Fabulous at times. it's ashame I don't remember them though)...

So Wednesday will be blog day.... Now, I have to come up with a topic. Any suggestions? Oh one more announcement, did you know I sang at weddings? Smooches!

Hello my name is...

Feel like you are at AA. Well it's more like WW. For those of you that didn't know it, I had a bouncing baby girl in December. She is more wonderful than I thought she could ever be and I wouldn't know what I would do without her;however, I do know what I would do without these 40 pounds that are on my arse since giving birth. I mean I have always been "a healthy" girl as my husband says. You know all those terms you give a fat girl with big boobs. Thicke, or PHAT. Cuz you all know if I didn't have the girls, I would just be a fatchick.
Anywho, back to the reason for this topic. Prior to getting pregnant, I had lost weight and although I wasn't swimsuit model material, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Then I got pregnant... (insert foreboding music here),,, And I proceeded to consume every Reese's peanut butter cup I could get my hands on. Oh and don't forget the number of pigs that gave their life so that I may consume them in the form of a Chesesi Ham. (If you don't know what Chesesi Ham is, look it up. It's a New Orleans thing). There were also run ins with Cheetos Cheese Puffs and other random non healthy foods I consumed in the name of pregnancy. So here I am, a mom trapped in the body of a MILF. What's a diva to do!!!

I joined Weight Watchers, AGAIN! I swear, they really should grandfather me in. Ive been around for every plan change since the early 90s. It works, but I cheat so I stay fat. GO WW!! I really am starting Saturday. That is how I justified the jelly donut I had for breakfast. But I was thinking about my weight problem and thought that in America, the land of the free! (insert patriotic music here) that fat people really should be entitled to rehab covered by insurance. I mean drug addicts get 30 days, so do alcoholics. And don't even get me started on the bulimics and anorexics... they get all kinds of special treatment. But us fatties, have to plod along alone and pay for help to get healthy all the while forced to watch exercise tapes with some skinny ass that needs to eat a cheeseburger with bacon tell us how strong we are and to keep working at it.

I do have to give props to the Biggest Loser Show. It is the one place that recognizes that fat asses need more help than a Richard Simmons tape and Slim Fast Shake. But Im so sure, Can't you just see me saying, "bye Sam Im going off to be on a TV show for 3mos..." People with jobs can't do this. I dream of the day that Bob( you know the 'mo trainer on the show) would show up at my door and work me out. I just like Bob better for some reason. Jillian is amazing, but I think Bob and I have more in common. I mean when my big ass is sweating like a mule pulling a cart of mexicans up a mountain, the last thing I want to look at is a woman who's abs are tighter than a guitar string telling me to keep going... But Jillian if you read this, please come and rescue me. I will let you ride me like Zorro if you can make my ass as tight as yours.

I digress as usual, but you get my point. I should have some benefit in my insurance that allows me to go to a fat farm and get started at least. I think Ill right my Congressman as soon as I figure out who the hell he is..... I think it's David Vitter, I wonder if he has a position on saving the fat people. Let's see I know he supports hookers in their endeavors to facilitate companionship.Was that mean? My bad.... I wonder how he feels about fat hookers??

But the point is I begin a weight loss journey again. I hate that saying "weight loss journey"... but I suppose it is a journey. I mean they can invent a rocket that can fly to the moon, but nobody can muster up a wonder drug to shrink my muffin tops... I do believe it's a conspiracy. Well, enough for today. Smooches! and stay tuned, but I must warn you, Im not nice when Im hungry.

Some say....

Some say I have a knack for this, so after much soul searching (yeah not so much really) I decided to blog. I will not make any promises, but I will try to do this at some regular interval. So now that I have a blog, I don't know what to say. I am much better at writing random emails to my friends in the middle of the day not really thinking they will read them. I guess I can start with me and how I got here.... Oh man, look at the time. I gotta go do something important. Wish me luck. More to come tomorrow. Peace to your pink parts. Smooches!!